Author's Note: With my birthday approaching, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about life, thinking about the birth of our daughter Kayla.
With that of course comes all the thoughts about how Kayla's birth was a long time coming ... over six years in fact. And for some time now I've been wanting to write about it.
I'm not sure WHY I want to write about it, just that I want to. I am guessing that before I get to the end of writing these "My Miracle Family" articles I will figure out the "why". In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading them and learning more about the challenges that couples face when going through fertility issues.
Ten years (and some months) in the future ...
On a nice sunny afternoon, a father is sitting on his porch enjoying a drink and reading a book. He is starting to doze off when his lovely ten year old daughter bounds in from playing in the yard and promptly plops down on his lap.
Daughter: "Daddy... "
Daddy: (still half dozing) "Yes honey?"
Daughter: "Where do babies come from?"
Daddy opens his eyes warily. Uh oh. It's _THE_ question. Daddy straightens up and smiles down at his daughter.
Daddy: "Well honey, that's a good question. Let's see... well, first two people fall in love and then decide they want to start a family...."
Daughter: "Like you and mommy! Right?"
Daddy: "Yes honey, your mommy and I love each other very much. Anyhow, so two people decide they want to start a family. They first start trying the 'natural' way...."
Daughter: "What's the 'natural' way?"
Daddy: "Umm.. Never you mind that now, we can talk about that later. Moving on quickly now they then start trying other ways. In this case, with a doctor's guidance, mommy starts taking drugs to stimulate her ovaries and then daddy goes into a special room with a little cup..."
Daughter: "Little cup?"
Daddy: "...and then there's this big turkey-baster looking thing the doctor uses to put into mommy the ..ermm..contents of the little cup.."
Daughter: "What's in the little cup?"
Daddy: "Never you mind that now. Okay so then the mommy and daddy start trying even more advanced methods where mommy has to take even more drugs to overstimulate her ovaries followed by mommy having surgery to extract her eggs...daddy then goes again into a special room with a little cup ..."
Daughter: "Daddy, this doesn't sound right.."
Daddy: "And then after that, with the mommy and daddy still are wanting to have a baby, the daddy takes a few more tests and from the results they see that a certain surgery may help the situation. So the daddy has the surgery, but they have to wait a year or so before they can try again.."
Daughter: "A whole year?"
Daddy: "Yes honey, a whole year..."
Daughter: "Daddy, this story is getting kinda long isn't it?"
Daddy: "Well, honey, it was quite a long story for this specific mommy and daddy. There were years of natural attempts, IUI attempts, IVF attempts, not to mention the surgery and recovery for the daddy. But after the surgery, this mommy and daddy were full of hope for their third IVF attempt. They went to a new doctor who had some new ideas, though one of those ideas included daddy having to give mommy shots in her butt cheek every night for like three WHOLE weeks... with a big two-inch long needle.. This daddy couldn't even poke a boba drink with a straw properly and here he was having to give shots into mommy's butt... but I digress...because finally the big day came for mommy to get her eggs extracted again, so mommy had the surgery again ..."
Daughter: "And then daddy went into the special room with a little cup?"
Daddy: "Umm.. yes, honey. Daddy then went into the special room with a little cup. This was followed by days, weeks and even months of prayers as six little teeny weenie super tiny babies were transferred back into mommy. Then mommy and daddy prayed and prayed that hopefully just one of those teeny tiny babies could latch on and claw on to mommy's uterus and hang on like there was no tomorrow. And then their prayers were answered ...because nine months later this mommy and daddy were blessed with a little miracle."
Daughter: "A miracle?"
Daddy: "Yes, a miracle. And we named that miracle Kayla"
Daughter: "Hey! THAT'S ME!!!!"
Daddy: "Yes honey. That's you."
You can already see that this is a "new breed" of the "birds and the bees" talk about how families get started...
Or maybe it soon will be, as many "birds and bees" stories these days need a little help from technology, drugs to stimulate the hormones, needles, shots, surgery, special little cups, and other little adventures.
This definitely is one of the many stories, including ours, that could be told today about where babies come from and how families begin.
As a society we do hear about these kinds of stories, and so before we embarked on our own journey I was "aware" of the different ways that families are started. But I truly wasn't aware until we went through our own issues. Now I see how these new stories might include IUI, IVF, adoption, and maybe even other ways I just haven't been exposed to yet. After our own little roller coaster adventure, one thing I have now come to see is that regardless of how a family is started, it definitely is a miracle
It's interesting to think back to when I wasn't always thinking this way. Even though I love being a dad now, there was in fact a time that I was fearful of being a dad. This brings me to the point of this article (or set of articles) which is that this won't be so much about being a dad. Rather, I'm hoping these articles will give insight to some of the challenges people face in starting a family, as well as the miracle it is becoming a family and for me becoming a dad.
To reiterate what I said earlier, I'm not quite sure why I am going to write these. Maybe it is for exposure. Maybe it is for something else. I'm guessing the "why" will come to me before I finish writing these articles. In the meantime, maybe it doesn't matter if I figure out the why as long as it's fun for me to write and hopefully fun for you to read too.
End Part 1 .....
Want more info on IVF pregnancies and infertility treatments? Check out more of Ben's articles. Emil "Ben" Yau is an engineer, blogger, dance teacher, and finally after six years of fertility challenges, a proud father. Thankful for his wife and daughter, Ben enjoys writing about their first hand experiences with fertility challenges.
